Arguments at home?Find the patterns behind them
The same fights keep coming back — often without knowing exactly why.
Everyone takes a test. No one sees each other's answers. And you get a concrete starting point.
The whole family takes a short test. Answers are private.
You get a report that shows what typically triggers conflicts, where patterns repeat, and what you can try. Not therapy — but a way out of the loop.
You can start on your own: the test takes 10–15 minutes, you can pause anytime, and you only invite people once you're ready. They each take their own version — no one can see anyone else's answers.
No one gets blamed – the report describes patterns
Answers are private, even within the family
Concrete suggestions to break the patterns
Conflicts don't disappear on their own — but they can get easier to understand, and therefore easier to handle.
Based on personality research — not type tests or boxes. Read about methodology →
Are you a practitioner, e.g. therapist? Read more →
Sound familiar?
“Thanks for the helpful suggestions for what our family can actually try. We're going to take turns planning something together at the weekend.”
Ready to get started?
Conflicts are normal – but patterns can be broken
All families have conflicts. That's not a problem in itself. The problem arises when the same conflicts repeat without you knowing why – or how to move forward.
What starts small
It starts with something trivial. A dishwasher. A forgotten message. Suddenly it's about something else entirely, and no one quite knows how it escalated.
The invisible triggers
Something sets it off. A certain tone. A certain time. But it's hard to put into words – and even harder to talk about when you're in the middle of it.
The silence afterward
The conflict is over. But the atmosphere lingers. No one quite knows when it's okay to talk normally again – or if it's even resolved.
Conflicts don't disappear on their own. But they can become easier to understand – and therefore easier to handle.
You don't need a crisis to use this. Most families who try SAMRUM aren't in trouble — they just want to understand each other better.
What you get in a report
Here are small excerpts from an example report. Reports show strengths, typical conflict patterns, and concrete things you can try. Click an image to see more.
The report describes what happens between you — not faults in any one person. If something surprises you, that's often where the most useful conversations start.
Ready to get started?
3 things you can try today
Whether you use SAMRUM or not, these things can help.
Take a pause before reacting: When the conflict escalates, say "I need 10 minutes" and walk away. Come back and resume calmly.
Avoid "always" and "never": Words like "You always..." create defensiveness. Try "I noticed that..." – it describes without judging.
Agree on a timeout word: Find a word you can use when things are going off the rails. It can break the pattern and remind you that you're on the same team.
These can break the pattern today. The report shows why the pattern exists — so it doesn't come back.
Want to work on one pattern at a time?
A focus track takes one area from your profiles and gives you 4 weeks of practical steps. Observation, experiment and reflection — delivered once a week.
Based on your data
The track uses test results — yours alone or both people's. It's written for your specific situation.
Personal or together
Personal tracks are based on your profile. Together tracks use both profiles and give each person their own perspective.
Self-help, not therapy
Focus is on what you can do — not what's wrong. Under 3 minutes to read per week.
Requires a completed test (free). One-time purchase per track — no subscription.
Help right after the conflict
"Right now" is a free moment guide you can open when something just went wrong. 90 seconds and 4-5 questions — then you have a plan based on your actual profiles.
Pattern recognition
The guide identifies the pattern you're in and describes it as a cycle — not blame.
Concrete plan
What you can do in the next few hours. What to avoid. And a 10-second version if you don't have the energy.
Free — always
When your pulse is racing, there shouldn't be a paywall in the way.
Requires completed test for both people.
Send it to your partner
“I found a test that can help us understand each other better. You take it on your own – 15 min, and nobody can see each other's answers.”
“I took a personality test and it made me think about us. Want to take yours? 15 min, and your answers are private.”
Not ready to start?
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Frequently asked questions about family conflicts
It depends on which conflicts you want to understand. A couple report requires two adults. A parent-child report requires one adult and one child. A family overview includes everyone. You choose who to include — and can always add more later.
Start with those who are ready. The report requires that relevant participants have completed the test, but you can begin with a couple or parent-child report and expand later.
Teenagers can see reports they participate in — like parent-child and sibling reports. Couple reports and family overviews are only visible to adults. Children under 13 can't see reports at all.
SAMRUM isn't a miracle cure. But it can give you a new language for what's happening — and show patterns you might not have seen. Many families find it easier to talk about patterns than specific episodes. For serious conflicts, we recommend professional help.
Your test answers are private — no one in the family can see them. But the report isn't anonymous: it describes patterns between specific people. It never reveals what anyone answered, but it does mention you by name.
Children from about 6 can take an age-appropriate test. Younger children can't participate directly, but the adults' reports still show the family dynamics — and can help you understand your own reaction patterns.
Usually a track about conflict reactivity, post-conflict repair, or boundaries. You only see tracks that match your test profiles — so the suggestions are based on your actual patterns, not generic advice.
Related topics
Family communication
The same things get said again and again — and still nothing changes.
Conflicts with your teenager?
Slammed doors and short answers come with the territory — but you can still find a shared language.
Parenting
What works for one child doesn't necessarily work for the next — but you can find language for it.
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