Arguments at home?
The same arguments. The same mood. It feels like you're talking past each other.
Everyone in the family takes a short test. Answers are private. You get a report that shows what triggers the conflicts, where patterns repeat, and what you can try instead. Not therapy – but a concrete starting point for breaking the patterns you're stuck in.
Private answers · Patterns, not blame · Start alone
10 minutes. Just you. Pause anytime.
Sound familiar?
Conflicts are normal – but patterns can be broken
All families have conflicts. That's not a problem in itself. The problem arises when the same conflicts repeat without you knowing why – or how to move forward.
What starts small
It starts with something trivial. A dishwasher. A forgotten message. Suddenly it's about something else entirely, and no one quite knows how it escalated.
The invisible triggers
Something sets it off. A certain tone. A certain time. But it's hard to put into words – and even harder to talk about when you're in the middle of it.
The silence afterward
The conflict is over. But the atmosphere lingers. No one quite knows when it's okay to talk normally again – or if it's even resolved.
Conflicts don't disappear on their own. But they can become easier to understand – and therefore easier to handle.
You don't need a crisis to use this. Most families who try SAMRUM aren't in trouble — they just want to understand each other better.
See what's happening between you
The report shows the patterns that repeat. Not who's right, but what triggers escalation – and what can break the pattern.
No one gets blamed – the report describes patterns
Answers are private, even within the family
Concrete suggestions for breaking the patterns
Built on Big Five and IPC — two of the most validated personality frameworks. Read about methodology →
Are you a practitioner, e.g. therapist? Read more →
3 things you can try today
Whether you use SAMRUM or not, these things can help.
Take a pause before reacting: When the conflict escalates, say "I need 10 minutes" and walk away. Come back and resume calmly.
Avoid "always" and "never": Words like "You always..." create defensiveness. Try "I noticed that..." – it describes without judging.
Agree on a timeout word: Find a word you can use when things are going off the rails. It can break the pattern and remind you that you're on the same team.
These can break the pattern today. The report shows why the pattern exists — so it doesn't come back.
What you get in a report
Here are small excerpts from an example report. Reports show strengths, typical conflict patterns, and concrete things you can try. Click an image to see more.
The report describes patterns between you — not faults in any one person. If something surprises you, that's often where the most useful conversations start.
Ready to see your patterns?
Three steps
Create the family and add members
Everyone takes a test (adapted to age)
Get a report with patterns and suggestions
How to suggest this to your partner
Frame it as curiosity, not criticism: "I found this personality test — want to try?"
Start yourself: "I already took it. It was interesting. No pressure for you."
Keep it light: "It's not therapy. Just a 10-minute test."
Frequently asked questions
It depends on which conflicts you want to understand. A couple report requires two adults. A family report includes everyone. You choose who to include.
The report can only be created if all relevant participants have taken the test. But you can start with those who are ready and invite others later.
It depends on the report type. Teenagers can see reports they participate in (e.g. parent-child and sibling reports). Family overview and couple reports are only visible to adults. Children under 13 cannot see reports.
SAMRUM isn't a miracle cure. But it can give you a new language for what's happening. If the conflicts are serious, we recommend seeking professional help.
Your test answers are private – no one in the family can see them. But the report isn't anonymous; it describes patterns between specific people in the family.
Children from about age 6 can take an age-appropriate test. Younger children can't participate, but the adults' reports still show the family dynamics.
No. SAMRUM is a conversation tool. It shows patterns – not diagnoses. For serious or recurring conflicts, we recommend professional help.
Yes. You can retake the test anytime and purchase a new report based on the new answers. Patterns can change over time.
Yes. Each household creates its own family. Your children can exist in both. You start independently — no coordination with the other household needed.
The test and profile are free. Reports are purchased individually. See our pricing page for details.
Related topics
Family communication
Everyone talks. No one listens. The same things are said over and over – and yet nothing changes.
Conflicts with your teenager?
Slammed doors. Short answers. Eye rolls. You know it's part of the deal – but that doesn't make it easier.
Parenting without a one-size-fits-all recipe
What works for one child doesn't work for the next. But how do you figure out what fits?
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