Arguments in your relationship?See the patterns between you
You know the repeat fights — but not always the way out.
You both take a test. Neither sees the other's answers.
Each takes a short test when it suits you. Answers are private.
You get a report that shows where you match, where you clash, and what you can try. The focus is on what happens between you — not on who's right.
You can start on your own: the test takes 10–15 minutes, you can pause anytime, and you only invite people once you're ready. They each take their own version — no one can see anyone else's answers.
Both people's answers are private
No one is blamed
Concrete suggestions for everyday life
A relationship needs maintenance — but it's hard to maintain what you can't talk about.
Based on personality research — not type tests or boxes. Read about methodology →
Are you a practitioner, e.g. therapist? Read more →
Sound familiar?
“Thanks for the helpful suggestions for what our family can actually try. We're going to take turns planning something together at the weekend.”
Ready to get started?
You know the pattern – but not the way out
You've been together long enough to know how the conflicts start. But it's harder to stop them when you're in the middle of it. And even harder to talk about afterward.
The silent distance
Nothing's wrong. But nothing's really right either. You function – but you don't feel each other the way you used to.
The repeating conflicts
It's the same argument. You both know how it ends. But you can't help having it – again and again.
The wear of everyday life
Kids, work, logistics. There's no time for you. And when there finally is, you're not quite sure what to do with it.
A relationship needs maintenance. But it's hard to maintain something you can't talk about.
You don't need a crisis to use this. Most families who try SAMRUM aren't in trouble — they just want to understand each other better.
What you get in a report
Here are small excerpts from an example report. Reports show strengths in your relationship, typical friction points, and concrete things you can try. Click an image to see more.
The report describes what happens between you — not faults in any one person. If something surprises you, that's often where the most useful conversations start.
Ready to get started?
3 things you can try today
Whether you use SAMRUM or not, these things can help.
Start softly: How you begin a conversation often determines how it ends. Avoid attacks and criticism in your opening sentences.
Ask for a pause before you need it: Agree on a signal for "I need 20 minutes, then I'll come back". It's not escaping – it's taking care of the relationship.
Acknowledge the positive: Say one thing you appreciate about the other today. It sounds simple, but it changes the tone over time.
These create space. The report shows what fills it — your specific strengths and friction zones as a couple.
Want to work on one pattern at a time?
A focus track takes one area from your profiles and gives you 4 weeks of practical steps. Observation, experiment and reflection — delivered once a week.
Based on your data
The track uses test results — yours alone or both people's. It's written for your specific situation.
Personal or together
Personal tracks are based on your profile. Together tracks use both profiles and give each person their own perspective.
Self-help, not therapy
Focus is on what you can do — not what's wrong. Under 3 minutes to read per week.
Requires a completed test (free). One-time purchase per track — no subscription.
Help right after the conflict
"Right now" is a free moment guide you can open when something just went wrong. 90 seconds and 4-5 questions — then you have a plan based on your actual profiles.
Pattern recognition
The guide identifies the pattern you're in and describes it as a cycle — not blame.
Concrete plan
What you can do in the next few hours. What to avoid. And a 10-second version if you don't have the energy.
Free — always
When your pulse is racing, there shouldn't be a paywall in the way.
Requires completed test for both people.
Send it to your partner
“I found a personality test for couples. I'd like to understand us better – where we're similar and where we're different. 15 min each.”
“I took a personality test and it made me think. You can take yours here – 15 min, whenever it suits you.”
Not ready to start?
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Frequently asked questions about couple tests
No. All test answers are private. Neither you nor your partner can see each other's answers. The report describes patterns between you — not what anyone answered individually. This means you can both answer honestly.
No. SAMRUM is not therapy. It's a tool to get a shared language for what's happening between you. Many use the report as preparation for couples therapy — it gives the therapist a shared picture to work with.
Not necessarily. You can get a couple report that's only about the two of you as partners — not as parents. If you want, the children can take the test later, and you can add parent-child reports and a family overview.
That's completely normal — and often the most interesting part. The report is a starting point for conversation, not a verdict. If something doesn't fit, that's worth discussing: Why do you see it differently?
Separately. It's important that you answer independently — without influencing each other. You don't need to take the test at the same time. Do it when it suits you individually.
Yes. SAMRUM works whether you've been together 2 months or 20 years. Patterns emerge quickly — and understanding them early can be an advantage before they become ingrained.
Yes. Focus tracks also work for maintenance and prevention. You don't need to be in crisis to get value. Many couples use them to understand small, recurring patterns — the kind that wear you down over time without anyone mentioning them.
The test has 80 questions per person and typically takes 15-20 minutes each. You take it separately, whenever it suits you. The report is ready within an hour after you've both answered.
From the blog
'We're not ready for therapy' – 5 signs you can still get a lot from a shared language
Therapy isn't the only way. Sometimes it's just about finding a shared language before the patterns lock in.
4 min read'One plans, the other improvises' – how it becomes a pattern (and not a fight)
When structure meets spontaneity, friction arises. Not because anyone's right – but because the needs are different.
4 min readWhen did we become teammates instead of partners?
You run everyday life perfectly. The logistics work. But when did you stop being partners and become project managers?
4 min read