Parentingwithout one right recipe
What works for one child doesn't necessarily work for the next — but you can find language for it.
A short test for both of you. Age-appropriate for your child.
You each take a short test — the child gets a version suited to their age. Answers are private.
You get a report that shows what works between you and what creates friction — with concrete suggestions adapted to your child's age.
You can start on your own: the test takes 10–15 minutes, you can pause anytime, and you only invite people once you're ready. They each take their own version — no one can see anyone else's answers.
Age-appropriate test (from about age 6)
Children's answers are private
Suggestions tailored to your relationship
It's not about finding the right recipe — it's about understanding the child in front of you.
Based on personality research — not type tests or boxes. Read about methodology →
Are you a practitioner, e.g. therapist? Read more →
Sound familiar?
“Thanks for the helpful suggestions for what our family can actually try. We're going to take turns planning something together at the weekend.”
Ready to get started?
There's no one right way
Parenting books give general advice. But your child isn't general. What works for others doesn't necessarily work for you. And what worked yesterday might not work tomorrow.
When logic doesn't work
You explain calmly and patiently. But it doesn't land. The child hears something different than what you're saying – and you don't know what to do differently.
Siblings like night and day
One responds to structure. The other to freedom. You feel like you need to be two different parents – and neither approach quite works.
The hidden needs
The child says "I don't want to." But maybe it's about something else. Tiredness, anxiety, a feeling of unfairness. You can sense it – but can't put it into words.
It's not about finding the right recipe. It's about understanding the child you have in front of you.
What you get in a report
The report shows strengths in your relationship, typical friction points, and concrete things you can try. Click an image to see more.
The report describes what happens between you — not faults in any one person. If something surprises you, that's often where the most useful conversations start.
Ready to get started?
3 things you can try today
Whether you use SAMRUM or not, these things can help.
Describe instead of judge: Say "You seem to be upset" instead of "Why are you angry?". It opens up conversation without pressure.
Match your child's pace: Children need more time to think. Count to 10 after your question before saying more.
Find the good moments: The best conversations often happen in the car, at bedtime, or during an activity – not at the kitchen table.
These help today. The report shows the deeper pattern — why the same approach works with one child and not the other.
Want to work on one pattern at a time?
A focus track takes one area from your profiles and gives you 4 weeks of practical steps. Observation, experiment and reflection — delivered once a week.
Based on your data
The track uses test results — yours alone or both people's. It's written for your specific situation.
Personal or together
Personal tracks are based on your profile. Together tracks use both profiles and give each person their own perspective.
Self-help, not therapy
Focus is on what you can do — not what's wrong. Under 3 minutes to read per week.
Requires a completed test (free). One-time purchase per track — no subscription.
Help right after the conflict
"Right now" is a free moment guide you can open when something just went wrong. 90 seconds and 4-5 questions — then you have a plan based on your actual profiles.
Pattern recognition
The guide identifies the pattern you're in and describes it as a cycle — not blame.
Concrete plan
What you can do in the next few hours. What to avoid. And a 10-second version if you don't have the energy.
Free — always
When your pulse is racing, there shouldn't be a paywall in the way.
Requires completed test for both people.
Send it to your co-parent
“I found a test for the whole family – including children from age 6. It can help us understand the kids and each other better. Check it out.”
“There's this family test where kids have their own version (8 min) and adults take theirs (15 min). Nobody can see each other's answers.”
Not ready to start?
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Frequently asked questions about parent-child relationships
The test is designed for children from about 6 years old. Children get fewer and simpler questions than adults — about 8 minutes of testing. For the youngest (6-8), an adult can read the questions aloud, but the child should choose the answer themselves.
No. All test answers are private — including the children's. The report describes patterns between you but never shows individual answers. This ensures the child answers honestly and not strategically.
Yes. You can buy separate reports about the relationship with each child. You can also get an overall family report showing patterns across the family. The reports illuminate different dynamics and don't overlap.
No. The test measures personality traits and relationship patterns — not whether anyone is doing it 'right'. It's about understanding the dynamics between you, not judging. There are no right or wrong profiles.
Yes. You can create a family with yourself and the children and get reports about your relationships. You don't need a partner to use SAMRUM — many single parents use it to better understand their relationship with each child.
Simple questions about feelings and preferences — like 'Do you prefer when things are planned, or do you like surprises better?' An adult reads aloud for the youngest. It takes about 8 minutes and feels more like a conversation than a test.
Yes. Many parents start with a personal track to understand their own approach — then move to a together track with their child. You don't need to wait until the child is ready.
Yes. Both parents can take the test and get reports about their respective relationships with the child. This often gives a more complete picture — and can show how the two parent-child dynamics differ.
Related topics
Conflicts with your teenager?
Slammed doors and short answers come with the territory — but you can still find a shared language.
Sibling conflicts?
When they react in totally different ways, it's rarely just about the topic.
Arguments at home?
The same fights keep coming back — often without knowing exactly why.
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