What is SAMRUM?

A conversation tool for families who want to understand each other better. Everyone answers privately in an age-adapted test and gets a free profile. From there, you can buy reports about the relationships that matter.

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Start alone, invite later

You can start alone and see your personality profile for free. When you're ready, invite your partner or teenager. Start with a couple report or a parent-child report – you don't have to wait for the whole family.

Reports tailored to the relationship

A family report focuses on the dynamic in the whole family. A couple report goes deeper into the relationship. A parent-child report is adapted to the child's age. Each report is its own tool – they don't overlap.

Between 'we're fine' and therapy

Some people find it hard to see themselves in therapy – it can feel like a big step to sit in front of a third party. SAMRUM is for that in-between space. It gives you language for things you might not have language for, and helps you have the conversation yourselves. Not instead of therapy – but before, or alongside.

No hidden costs

It's free to sign up, free to take tests, and free to compare profiles. Reports are one-time purchases. No subscription, no commitment, no surprises.

When is it relevant?

When you talk past each other

You say the same things but hear something different. The tone escalates, and afterwards nobody quite knows what it was about. The report shows what happens between you – and gives you words for it.

When therapy feels like a big step

Maybe it's not bad enough for therapy. Or maybe it's just not your thing. SAMRUM gives you a starting point – something concrete to talk from, without having to open up in front of a stranger.

When you just want to check in

It doesn't have to be hard to be useful. Many use it as a check-up – to see if there's something they haven't noticed, or just to learn more about each other.

A typical flow

Create your family
1

Create your family

Most families start by creating a family and adding members. You set name and role (adult, teenager, or child) for each person.

  • Only adults can invite new members
  • Children don't need their own email address
  • People can be part of multiple families (e.g. with shared custody)
  • Define relationships between family members
Take age-adapted tests
2

Take age-adapted tests

Once the family is set up, each person can take their age-adapted test. Children from age 6 get short questions with simple language. Teenagers and adults get more nuanced questions.

  • Adults: 80 questions
  • Teenagers: 60 questions
  • Children (around 6–12): 50 questions with simple language
  • The test can be taken at your own pace – with breaks
Get your profile
3

Get your profile

When the test is done, you get your free personality profile. If you want to understand the dynamics between you more deeply, you can then buy one or more reports.

  • Personality profile: included free with the test
  • Individual report: visible to the person themselves
  • Relationship reports: visible to adults in the family but can be shared with teens
  • No subscription – one-time purchase per report
Use the report together
4

Use the report together

If you buy a report, it shows where you click, where you clash, and gives concrete suggestions for things to try.

  • What works well between you
  • Where you typically misunderstand each other
  • Conflict patterns
  • Concrete suggestions to try in everyday life
  • Things to watch out for

Good to know

Answers are private

No one can see your raw test answers. Reports only show patterns between people, never individual answers.

Focus on patterns

Reports describe dynamics between you – how you react to each other and where you can adjust.

Valid here and now

Reports describe patterns based on your answers right now. They're not fixed truths, and you can always take the test again later.

Not therapy

SAMRUM doesn't replace professional help. For serious challenges, we recommend seeking professional support.

The report

A report is a detailed walk-through of the dynamic between two or more of you — not judgements of the individual, but patterns you can talk from. It's built on both people's profile data, but never shows individual answers.

Reports are a snapshot. They describe what's happening right now, based on your test responses — not a permanent truth. You can retake the test in six months and get a new picture.

Reports are one-time purchases: €10 (individual), €27 (couple / parent–child) and €33 (family overview). No subscription, no lock-in. Reports don't overlap; each type is built for its specific relationship.

Five types — one for each relationship

Individual

About you alone: your patterns, your stress triggers, what helps you reset, and where you thrive.

See example

Couple

The dynamic between two adults in a relationship — where you match, where you clash, and the recurring loops you're in.

See example

Parent ↔ child

One parent and one child (from age 6) — age-adapted, with the parent as the one adjusting more.

See example

Sibling

Between two siblings — rivalry, alliances, role distribution, and where adults can support without judging.

See example

Family overview

The whole family as a system — subsystems, interactions, and where combinations create friction.

See example

How you'll read the report

Once your report is ready, you can go through it three ways — and switch as you go:

Full text

The complete report with every detail.

Guided — one topic at a time

At your own pace, in small steps.

Audio summary (5–6 min)

A short narration. Listen while you're out.

Included in the price. Audio is made the first time you tap play.

Pick one focus — and feel the difference in your everyday life

Your profiles show 10 axes. That's a lot to take in at once. A focus track takes one area and gives you 4 weeks of everyday tools. It can be just for you, or about a pattern between you and someone else.

Each week you get a short message in the app: an observation, a micro-experiment, and a reflection. It takes 2-3 minutes to read. You choose which day you want it delivered.

Personal tracks adapt to your profile. Together tracks use both profiles and give each person their own perspective — the other's is framed as a hypothesis, not an assertion.

A track is only relevant if you recognise the pattern. If not — skip it. It's about what you experience, not what the profiles say.

Based on your data

The track uses test results — yours alone or both people's. It's not a one-size-fits-all guide. It's written for your specific situation.

Delivered weekly in the app

One message per week. Observation, experiment, reflection. Under 3 minutes to read. You choose delivery day and time.

Self-help, not therapy

A tool to help you get a better handle on everyday life. No diagnosis, no treatment. The focus is on what you can do — not what's wrong.

Examples of tracks

Your pace after a pressured day

Find an easier transition between 'on' and 'home'

Your balance between yes and no

Close the gap between what you say and what you mean

You'll only see tracks where your profiles suggest recognition. If none of them land — it's simply not relevant right now.

Help in the moment — "Right now"

Reports describe patterns. Focus tracks work with them over 4 weeks. But neither helps right after an argument — when your pulse is still racing.

"Right now" is a free self-help guide you can open when you need it. You choose who it's about, answer 4-5 short questions, and get a personal guide with pattern recognition, a chain warning, and a concrete plan for the next few hours.

The guide uses both people's profiles — so it knows something about the other person's perspective, even though they're not present. It's not therapy and not a chat. It's one complete answer that validates your state and gives you something concrete to do.

Pattern recognition

The guide identifies the pattern you're in and describes it as a cycle — A reacts, B withdraws, A escalates. Never blame, always both sides.

A plan for the next few hours

What you can do right now, what to avoid, and a 10-second minimal version if you don't have the energy for more.

Repair when you're ready

Three scripts you can use as a starting point — for yourself, to the other person, or as a conversation starter. Based on both profiles' repair axis.

Free. Requires completed test for both people.

Questions about SAMRUM as a product

Last updated Written and reviewed by Thomas Silkjær, founder of SAMRUM

What do I get from taking the test?

The test takes ca. 10 minutes and gives you a free personality profile right after — 10 tendencies that describe how you react, communicate and handle pressure in everyday life. The profile is a mirror you can use on your own or compare with others in the family.

What is the profile based on?

The profile is based on 10 family themes: need for structure, social energy, warmth, boundary-setting, emotional reactivity, calm under pressure, fairness filter, conflict style, repair, and persistence. These are everyday patterns described in a family context — not judgements of behaviour or “right” ways to be.

What's the difference between a profile and a report?

The profile is you — 10 traits about you as an individual, free with the test. A report is the dynamic between you and one or more others: where you match, where you clash, and which patterns keep repeating. The profile is input; the report is what happens when two profiles meet.

See the 10 axes and the scientific foundation →

How is a report structured?

A report has sections for strengths, typical friction points, concrete loops (A → B → A, never blame), experiments to try, and a retest suggestion. It's delivered in three formats: the full text, a guided walkthrough in smaller chunks, and a 5-minute audio summary. All three are included — read, navigate or listen.

Can I listen to the report instead of reading it?

Yes. The report is delivered in three formats, included in the price: the full text, a guided walkthrough one topic at a time, or a 5–6 minute audio summary. The audio is AI-generated with a visible transcript (WCAG 2.1 Level A) and is produced the first time one of you hits play.

What is a focus track, and how is it different from a report?

A focus track is a 4-week structured observation and experiment about one area. The report describes the pattern; the track works with it over time. A personal track uses your own data (€7). A together track uses both people's data and gives each their own perspective per week (€10). Not therapy — small everyday moves.

Who can take part in a together focus track?

A partner, another adult, or a teenager (13–17) by invitation. Each gets their own perspective based on their own profile. The other person's perspective is always framed as a hypothesis — “could it be that…” — never as a claim. Children under 13 can't actively take part in together tracks.

What is “Right Now” and how is it used?

A free in-the-moment guide that opens after a conflict. A 90-second intake produces a personal 3–4 minute guide: the pattern you're in, what typically happens from here, what you can do now, and how to repair when you're ready. Requires both of you to have taken the test.

What does the Right Now flow look like in practice?

You open Right Now in the app, choose who it's about, and answer 4–5 short questions about what happened. You then get a personal guide based on both people's axis scores — with pattern recognition, a plan for the next few hours (including a 10-second minimal version), and repair suggestions.

Can I use SAMRUM alone, without inviting the rest of the family?

Yes — most people start solo. You take the test, get your profile, and decide yourself whether and when to invite others. Individual reports, personal focus tracks and self-insight all work fully without involving anyone else. The mini-test (90 sec.) is an even lower-threshold way to start.

Does the whole family need to take part for us to get something out of it?

No. Start with whoever is ready. Two people's data gives a useful picture — you can start with a couple report or parent-child report and add more later. Only the family overview requires more participants. Other report types have no requirement of full family participation.

What does SAMRUM cost?

The test, profile, mini-test and “Right Now” are free. Reports are one-time purchases: €10 (individual), €27 (couple / parent–child), €33 (family overview). Focus tracks: €7 personal, €10 together. No subscription, no lock-in, and nothing has a time limit once purchased. Full overview on the pricing page.

See the full pricing overview →

Technical and methodological questions

AI writes the report based on your test data. It doesn't invent anything — it translates your scores into language you can use in everyday life. The AI has no access to other families' data and is not trained on your answers.

Yes. You can stop and continue later — your answers are saved automatically as you go. You don't need to finish the test in one sitting. Many people spread it over a couple of days.

Yes. Teenagers (13-17) can both buy their own personal focus tracks and participate in together tracks with an adult. Personal tracks are 100% private — you can't see them. Together tracks are started by an adult, and the teenager receives an invitation. Children under 13 don't participate actively — the parent uses the perspective toggle instead.

Yes. SAMRUM works in the browser on all devices — phone, tablet, and computer. You can also download the app for iOS and Android. Your profile, test answers, and reports sync automatically across devices.

16Personalities and Enneagram give you a type — like INFJ or Type 4. That's intuitive and easy to remember, but generalising. SAMRUM gives you a profile with 10 axes and sub-facets that's unique to you. With AI, we go deeper than a type label and describe your actual patterns in a family context. Read about our scientific methodology.

SAMRUM is built on two well-established research frameworks: OCEAN (Big Five) from Costa & McCrae (1992) — the dominant model in personality psychology — and IPC (Interpersonal Circumplex) from Wiggins (1979) for relational behaviour. Questions are inspired by IPIP (International Personality Item Pool), an open item bank (Goldberg et al., 2006), but adapted and reformulated for a family context — with situational items and trade-off items that capture dynamics between people. The Big Five structure has been shown to be robust across contexts (Soto & John, 2017; Donnellan et al., 2005). You'll never encounter technical terms — we translate into 10 family themes. Read more on our methodology page.

We use a systemic approach: conflicts are described as mutual cycles ("Alma reacts → Julie withdraws → Alma escalates"), never as linear cause-and-effect. This is the core principle of systemic family therapy (Bateson, 1972; Minuchin, 1974). The same person can have different patterns with different family members. The report never says "it's your fault" — it shows what happens between you, based on Gottman's couples research (1994) and attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969; Johnson, 2008). Read more about our systemic approach.

Ready to get started?

Create a family and take the first tests. The personality profile is free.

Take the testInvite your family

The foundation, the privacy, the people behind:

Methodology

Research, the 10 axes, what we don't use

Privacy

What is stored, shared, deleted

About SAMRUM

The story, the voice, the person behind

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